Student Counselling: Meet Jenafor Ryane

Student Counselling: Meet Jenafor Ryane

My Background & Slowing Things Down

Warm Greetings! My name is Jenafor, and I am delighted to be a student counsellor offering reduced rate counselling at our Oak Bay clinic.

These days when I’m not studying, you’ll find me on my bike, in the pool or the ocean, or walking one of the many trails that we are fortunate to explore around Victoria. I’m very content in my own good company, and equally happy to spend time with my partner, my family, and my dear friends.

I find comfort and joy in poetry, cooking, trees and landscapes, my garden, backcountry explorations with friends, 80’s pop, feeling my feet on the ground (literally - I don’t prefer shoes!), and in doing one thing at a time (and slowly if possible). I long to live in a world that honours slow time and emphasizes the transformative power of love.

I identify as a highly sensitive, introverted empath, all of which once felt overwhelming and limiting to me, but now I understand that my sensitivity is a gift and a strength. Being sensitive allows me to connect in deep and meaningful ways with myself, with others, and with this precious life.

It was the stories that I was telling myself about my true nature that were holding me back, and not my true nature as dominant culture would have me believe.

Looking Back

Looking back, I understand that I was always looking for a way to help and to connect. I started performing at a young age and worked as an actor until I was 27 at which point I found the courage to step away from a life that was slowly eroding my spirit and my physical and mental well-being. It was a huge leap of faith to step into the unknown which saw me stumbling around in the dark for several years.

Though this period was uncomfortable it was integral to my personal and professional growth. During this time, I began cultivating my spiritual life, I learned how to take care of myself, and as a result I started the process of disentangling from cultural narratives that are not mine and that do not serve me.

My Journey towards Yoga, Mindfulness and becoming a Death Doula

Yoga and Mindfulness were and continue to be transformative resources for me, and as a Yoga teacher for the past 13 years, I have had the privilege of sharing practice with students privately, in group classes, and on retreat.

Those years of growth also included the care of and the death of my beloved Dad in 2011 to a long-term illness. His death broke my heart wide open and left me with questions unanswered and needs unmet.

I wondered if there might be a different approach to death and dying to the insufficient but widely accepted model that left me feeling isolated and incomplete. How could the end-of-life landscape be so foreign and difficult to navigate?

I questioned how it was possible that I felt so totally unprepared for the one thing that we will all face. So began my journey toward offering end-of-life care and planning to individuals and their loved ones as a Death Doula, which commenced in 2018.

My intention as a Doula is to inform and empower my clients, and to offer a constant and steady support through the turbulent waters of life, which includes death. My Doula practice has been on hold while I tend to my studies and start my new career in counselling; however, I remain passionately convinced that we can and we must do death differently.

Slowing Down and Steadying our Nervous Systems

Dominant cultural messaging has us believe that our value is based on achieving and producing which creates distraction, disconnection, and burnout. When our attention is dispersed into the past and the future, it is difficult to live with intention and purpose in the present.

As a counsellor, I am drawn to slowing things down to tend to what is present in the moment so that we can start to cultivate embodiment, and develop tools for soothing and calming the nervous system.

With a steady nervous system, we can learn to be less reactive when challenge arises, which it will.

Life is full of all the feels.

We can’t change that, but we can change our reactions to our emotions and experiences, including challenging ones.

About Counselling Sessions with Me

In a session with me, you can expect a warm and gentle approach.

I am interested in learning about who you are and what you value most.

We may explore Self-Compassion, Radical Acceptance, Mindfulness, and Narrative Therapy to address anxiety, stress and overwhelm, depression, sensitivity, loss, longing and loneliness, and feeling unappreciated or unseen.

Some questions I may ask include:

• What stories are you repeating about yourself and the world around you?

• What stories are you invested in, and do they serve you?

• What do you value?

• What inner and outer resources do you lean on in times of challenge?

I look forward to meeting you! Together we will explore what it is that you are most longing for.

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Written by Jenafor Ryane, MC (in progress)

Jenafor is now accepting new adult counselling clients at Oak Bay Psychology. Oak Bay Psychology offers community-based psychologist and counselling services in Victoria, BC. To learn more or book online with Jenafor, please click here.